Live’n It Up In Laos

THE SLOW BOAT

We were right on the border of Laos by the Mekong river when we left Thailand. This was because we’d booked onto the two day Slow Boat to take us to Luang Prabang. A lot of friends had told us this was a must and it was good crack, but I wouldn’t say it’s essential to do. It’s just a very chilled, long float down the river with other travellers having bevs and playing games.

We had an early 6:30AM start which we got through by singing ABBA as we got ready to leave. We then had to get our Thai emigration departure cards out but Lauren, Grace and I had no clue we’d had to keep them (note to self: you do, so keep all documents safe when entering a country) so were in a minor panic. I unpacked the whole of my bag to find I’d kept it for my scrapbook (thank the bloody lord)!! The others found theirs too. I repacked my bag to find we also needed our small passport photos so I had to unpack (again) to get those out and cut them up. We were about to leave when Cez, Hol and I were asked where our key was. None of us had a clue and after a lot of frantic looking and tearing up the room we just paid 400 baht. What an absolute shambles.

Two bus journeys, a visa for $36 and another bus (which was more of an open air truck) later we arrived at the boat. We got on the boat after booking a transfer and somewhere to stay for the night (it cost us a whole £2.85 ... bargain)! All our bags were thrust underneath the boat and we were told “they may get a little wet” so we expected to retrieve them back drenched.

It wasn’t a huge party but a few people did had drinks and were playing cards so it was a nice vibe and the river was beautiful. Unfortunately, I had got a throat infection the previous day so with antibiotics and a gland swollen to the size of an orange, I thought I’d have a day off (the drinking in Thailand was now coming back to haunt me). Luckily, we all got seats close together but Cez was plonked next to a guy who suddenly got nail clippers out and started doing his finger nails before proceeding onto his feet. Let’s just say manky nails were flying all over the shop but we were all finding it very entertaining (well I say all of us, I think Cez was just wishing she’d chosen a different seat)!

We did seem to turn around an awful lot and Grace made a valid point that perhaps Luang Prabang was actually just five minutes away and we were going to sail up and down the river for two days! We arrived around 5:30PM at Pakbeng (just under half way to Luang Prabang). We went for a banging curry which cost a whole £2 but the payment situation was an absolute nightmare. They had no change for our 20,000 kip meals but having only just got money out all we had were 100,000 kip notes. We somehow worked it out but my god did we have a nightmare with bills (the number of times we’ve tried to split the bill and it’s never added up as it’s always ended up being under, we seriously need to work on our maths)!

After that we checked out a couple of bars which were beyond dead. To be fair, one did have a great deal though; 2 cocktails for the price of ... 2 cocktails (we bypassed that bar). Oh, and we were also offered Opium by a local on the street (could have had a wild night but we thought we’d leave heroin for the time being)!

I woke with my throat having massively improved (praise the lord for Thai pharmacies)! We were up at 8AM which felt like a major lie in after some of our recent early starts! We got a lift to the port then boarded for day two which was 8 hours. Even though we’d not had a ridiculously early start, we apparently all needed more sleep so I crashed out in the engine room. Unfortunately, I’d opted to wear a floaty, but short, dress so my thoughtful friends came and covered me up with a jumper (after taking photos) whilst I was still out of it (thanks guys for making me decent again)!

Once we were all up, we went to the front of the boat and played slaps and some other games to pass the time. I really enjoyed the boat (we definitely needed some chill time) and we did actually meet a lot of people that did Luang Prabang and Vang Vieng (I reckon we’d have met them regardless of doing the slow boat though).

LUANG PRABANG

We arrived in Luang Prabang after what I had found a fun and relaxing journey. Our hostel (Sunrise) was a short drive away but it was a great location and everyone in the area was basically here or at mad monkey (from what I heard Sunrise was better and cheaper though).

We decided to go for dinner and found the best spot, Utopia, which had cute beanbags and riverside views. Once again everyone goes here so you’ll keep seeing familiar faces! After we all finished, Ceri, Helena and I checked out the night market which wasn’t nearly as busy as the Thai ones but it had a lot of really lovely stuff. There was also a gorgeous bridge nearby which was all lit up and I think you could go and make your own jewellery on the other side (we never checked it out properly). When back we met the other girl in our dorm, Anna, who was lovely and ended up spending a lot of time with us until we left for Vietnam!

The following day we got up for the free breakfast provided by Sunrise Hostel and then got a mini bus to the Kuang Si Waterfall, with Anna joining us. I had no idea we were in for such a treat. It was a whole National Park with rescued bears saved from poachers in the forest, trekking trails, and stunning waterfalls with pools you could swim in. Unbeknown to us, the pools had what felt like flesh eating fish in, though, so there was only so much hopping about and yelling we could take before having to leave the biting fish and return to land. Oh, and we also saw a huge black snake which wasn’t ideal for Cez who had a major fear of these creatures (thankfully, she was a little behind so didn’t actually see him slither into the vegetation).

Butterfly World was also nearby so we did go to check it out and a couple of the girls went in but only had ten minutes as the mini bus was leaving. They did really love it though, so that’s another activity you can do if visiting the National Park (which you’d be mad to miss out on).

That night we went to Pha Khao Lao Restaurant and Bar which I’d really recommend for dinner. It was cheap with delicious food and we kept being subjected to a dance show every half an hour! We had a few ciders and I went to the toilet before we left but as I came back everyone was up doing this weird slow dance performance with the three Laos dancers. Honestly, I left them for two minutes and came back to the oddest routine of my life.

We then headed to the market and had a wander around, checking out all the stalls (there were keychains made of bombs as Laos is known for having many unexplored bombs ... very reassuring).

We all popped to the loo again and once back we found Cez and Hol had become a tourist attraction with people crowding round them for photos under a pretty archway that they had apparently just stood on whilst waiting for us. I vouched I needed to stop going to the toilet now as every time I came back something more bizarre was happening.

All seven of us (for Laos Anna was our seventh member of the group) made our way to the Red Bull Sports Bar for a couple of the strongest drinks I’ve ever had in my life. In Laos at 11:30PM everything shuts down due to the monks. Well, everything bar a backstreet bowling alley so of course we wanted to check it out.

We were dropped by outdoor archery and a large building which we all scurried into. After securing a lane, we bought a bottle of vodka and then drank whilst bowling (I got a strike and Grace and I won, even if random guys did keep coming and taking our go). It was such a laugh and we ended up chatting to a load of the people who’d been on the slow boat. Once again, we were last to leave so shared a tuk tuk with the others going to Sunrise. We then sat and chatted to them for a bit before bed around 4AM. So much for not drinking until your fully recovered Carys (I did have four more days of antibiotics to go though so what can a girl do)!?

Unsurprisingly, we didn’t get up until gone 11AM but I had a quick swim in the pool to refresh myself and we all went to Utopia for food. Hol, Cez, Grace, Helena and I did then attempt Mount Phou Si (after stopping at a pharmacy because obviously our abundance of medication wasn’t sufficient and Hol now had an infected mosquito bite (I think all six of us are yet to be in good health at the same time).

We hiked up (having had to create fast and slow lanes as Hol was very much plodding at a pace of one step a minute. The top was pretty and to see all of Luang Prabang was worth it. We then walked down and went to find the Buddhas foot imprint and cave (basically we’d done the whole thing the longest way humanely possible). We did manage to make a friend with a dog who guided us to the cave though.

Holly then stayed at the hostel to book flights (her and Cez decided to extend their stay, happy days) but Anna and Lauren joined us in going to the market. We found a vegetarian and vegan buffet all for 15,000 kip (less than £1.50). We absolutely stuffed ourselves (I honestly ate my weight in noodles and tofu)!

We all purchased many items at the market (including a bomb bottle opener) and got pancakes as it was pancake day. When back we had to pack up our stuff ready for our journey to Vang Vieng tomorrow. We’d all loved Luang Prabang but little were we to know that the best was yet to come...

VANG VIENG

It was an earlyish start as our transfer to Vang Vieng was at 8:30AM so we all boarded the mini van hoping for a relaxing journey and sleep. We did not get that. Unfortunately, the van had practically no room for 2 people let alone the 7 of us, so with bags surrounding me (and then falling on me for the entire journey) we set off. It was hands down the worst journey to date with our driver going round bends and turns at a ridiculous speed. He also nearly ran over a child within the first 5 minutes of the jerky journey so I decided to just spend the four hours praying we’d arrive in one piece.

The only silver lining was that we did arrive far earlier than expected due to his recklessness. Having been in one of the largest cities of Laos, Vang Vieng was considerably smaller with just one main road which our hostel (Nanas Backpackers) was on. It was a great hostel for us and being the lucky buggers we are, we were upgraded to a 6 person private room for free as they were overbooked.

I had a swim and we all chilled which was much needed after our journey from hell. As the night drew in we headed out for food at a place called Vege Tables which was pretty much deserted but did a stellar curry. Cue Helena’s sickness. Having so far dodged any illness, Helena got a pretty horrific stomach bug or food poisoning of some sort; we’re still not sure what it was.

So now we had three of us on antibiotics, one of us with infected bites, and one of us with a stomach bug (what an appealing group of girls ey). Thankfully, Helena managed a wander round the night markets before it really kicked in so we all got some somersby’s ciders (which were only 90p!) and had a look round.

When we got back we sat and drank and chatted. A lot of people were about as Nanas Backpackers does free vodka and whiskey between 7PM and 9PM and then other bars along the strip do the same thing but between 9PM and 11PM. Most people then end up at the club, Viva, which from what we saw was the only club around.

The next day, we all agreed, was possibly our favourite to date. I started by trying mango sticky rice (a typical Thai dish that I never got round to ordering in Thailand). It was very tasty, if not a bit intense with the sweetness of the rice. We then got ready and set off for our dune buggies.

Holly, Lauren and I all drove first so we navigated the roads, a rickety bridge which looked like it could collapse at any minute, and finally got to the blue lagoon. Driving these vehicles was beyond fun, whizzing along roads and all being in convoy was just so funny (especially as Cez’s hat flew off at one point so they had to stop whilst she retrieved it)!

At the lagoon there was a rope swing which plunged you into the emerald blue water below and places to jump off which were built into a tree. It was so much fun with Cez, Lauren, Grace and I constantly jumping or swinging into the lagoon. After that we attempted to drive to another lagoon (if only it had been that simple).

Lauren and Helena were in front of Grace and I, followed by Holly and Cez. We got onto a dirt track and this was hysterical with bumps and twists and turns everywhere. We were laughing so much that we didn’t even realise Holly and Cez weren’t in sight. It turned out they’d not seen the one and only turning we’d all taken but after turning around we did manage to reconvene.

After more driving on dirt tracks and going through the occasional rural village with roosters and cows plonked in the middle of the road, we started to head back. It was now mine and Graces turn to go at the back so that we too would be covered in dirt. Our faces looked ridiculous by the end of the three hours but it was unquestionably worth it. Having showered off the dirt, we went for dinner and then settled in as we knew we had a heavy day tomorrow.

It was time for the legendary tubing! It’s known as the thing to do in Vang Vieng so we were all buzzing! I booked us onto it and then went and sat by the pool until everyone stirred. We saw Anna who was also tubing so she sat with us whilst we got grub from the hostel, stocked up on ciders for the day, and then got ready. I only took my phone and money in my waterproof case (and then I chucked my ciders in a plastic bag). There were lots of places selling waterproof bags if you need one though.

We were herded into a bus and then taken to the Mekong river before having a squelchy, muddy walk with our tubes to the river. We were then pushed into the flow of water and drifted down to the first bar. Most of us managed to connect up but Grace somehow got stuck and had to get out and swim for a bit (only her)!

We were all pulled in by the reps and boarded the floating wooden board which formed the bar. We got in drinks, chatted, and danced as so many people we knew were tubing with us so it was like one big party. We spent longest at this bar but before we knew it, bar number two was calling our names.

We got back into our rubber dingy’s and managed to get all six of us connected up. At times a couple of us would break away, and initially I was last so had to get some very nice lads nearby to propel me to the group (thank you boys)! All the reps got to go in boats which we jokily shouted at them for and one had to come back and get us as we were so far behind. He almost decapitated Grace in the process but at least we were rescued.

It didn’t feel like a long stop so it was off to the final bar before we knew it. My top tip is to make friends with as many reps as possible as you’ll be getting free drinks left, right and centre if you’re successful (they get all their drinks and food for free so they are very generous when it comes to sharing). There was a zip line into the lake at this stop so I had a go on that, and at one point I ended up at a family meal with four Laos people (not really sure how that happened but I got a free beer out of it)! Far too quickly we were heading back to the hostel but it had been such a fun day and the night was going to be just as fun.

We headed for food then Hol, Cez and I continued to drink until jungle party. This night made me feel like I was back in Leeds again with techno music blaring through the Laos jungle all night. It was great fun and I was impressed we managed to last as long as we did having been tubing all day. By 4:30AM we were back and I headed up but for some reason locked the door. This meant when Cez followed me up she couldn’t get in. She ended up having to get the master key which was all pretty hilarious when we reflected on the night the next morning.

I decided to sweat out all the alcohol from the previous night so Grace, Lauren and I sunbathed all morning with Anna joining us. A girl, Lottie, we’d met around the hostel who’d also been tubing with us yesterday came over so I invited her to come and do the viewpoint with us. Before long, Lottie (and her two mates Tom and Violet) were with us girls hiking up Nam Xay. It was very rocky and unstable (four of the nine of us stacked it coming down) but the top was worth it. Stunning views of Laos with the jungle behind. The photos honestly look like we have a green screen behind us! There was a motorbike where everyone gets pictures so we did a generic photo shoot before heading back. Lottie, Tom and Violet were so lovely so I was really pleased they’d joined.

Once home we had a quick turn around and then went for pizza with Anna. We waited ages for our food and the restaurant was pretty stingy on giving out sauces but my god it was seriously good grub (just what I needed). On our way out a puppy took a bit of a liking to Helena’s dress so she ended up with a dog attached to her with no signs of wanting to let go. She managed to entice him with her water bottle and eventually we got him interested in something else to play with (I say we, I was useless and just wetting myself at the situation)!

After educating Grace on Lonely Island and subjecting her to the Captain Jack Sparrow song, we all hit the hay - let the journey to Hanoi begin!

VIENTIANE

We were up at 8AM and said goodbyes as a lot of us were parting ways; Helena and Lauren were going to the airport as they were flying and meeting us in Hanoi, and Anna had booked her transfer with a different company. We all bid each other a safe journey before Hol, Cez, Grace and I boarded our minivan. The first half an hour was pretty bizarre with stops every five minutes. We really didn’t understand what was going on, with the most concerning stop being at a mechanics!

It was a bumpy journey but far better than our Luang Prabang to Vang Vieng transfer. After three hours we were dropped off and as luck would have it, the guesthouse where the bus was picking us up was a couple minutes walk away. We left our bags with them and went on a hunt for food. We saw a couple temples and walked through a nice section with hearts and decorations (still up from Valentine’s Day). Eventually, and by eventually I mean after going to five restaurants and finding them too expensive or limited with their food options, we found a nice place to stop. Four curries for us four hungry girls and a coffee later and we were fully prepared for the next 24 hours.

I wouldn’t recommend Vientiane at all but it was good to be able to say we’d been. There are temples, a couple of which we saw, and I’m sure if we’d explored it properly we’d have found more to do but it was very hot and if you search the top things to do the number one is visiting the airport (not a great sign really).

We went back to the guesthouse we were being picked up from and a tuk tuk arrived to take us to the bus. It kept stopping to get more people on which just couldn’t really fit (what is it with Laos and cramming people in). When we finally arrived at the bus station, we followed our driver round to the buses. There were so many and all of them had signs to say they were going to Hanoi. We didn’t get asked for our ticket which made us a bit sceptical (we could have just hopped on for free) and we had no idea if we were on the right bus or if we’d go through the correct entry point (they are so strict with visas in Vietnam so you have to have the exact entry point and correct entry date or you a risk not getting in).

We nabbed the back seats, of which there were five, and the four of us stretched out on the comfy reclined chairs. I was actually quite excited, even if we did leave over an hour late. Not knowing whether we were on the right bus, if we were going to the correct border crossing, or if we’d actually get to Hanoi, we settled in for a fun filled 24 hours. It was fairly concerning when Grace got a text saying “welcome to Thailand”, but we worked out this was because for a long way the bus was driving very close to the Laos / Thai border. Meanwhile the other two had already landed and were at their luxury Hanoi hostel. We were soon to find out that we’d made a dire decision going to Vietnam this way but at least we had one hell of a story to tell ...